For a little while now I’ve been looking at USAJobs almost everyday waiting for a Canine or a Federal Law Enforcement position to open up preferably a position within NCIS, ATF or TSA. I know the process is long and I wanted to start applying now in hopes of having something lined up by the time I graduate in May. After watching for a couple weeks it hit me, what about an internship? I did some research and saw that I was too late to apply for an internship with NCIS. So, instead of just being more bummed about it, I emailed headquarters informing them that I understood the deadline had passed and that it reflects poorly on this request HOWEVER I wanted to know if there was anyway I could still apply for the internship given my background in law enforcement and a military veteran. I had a pretty good write up and attached as much documentation as I could to the email. The next day I got a nice email back saying sorry, but nope (ok it was all in a nice way, but that’s the gist of it). I replied saying thank you. That was let’s say Tuesday.
Monday morning comes along and my friend and I a talking about our weekends. I don’t work Friday’s so I was able to accomplish quite a bit. I got up Friday morning and put on my best interview attire with my hair in a bun so tight I forgot what that felt like. I grabbed my folder with my cover letter, resume, DD214, transcripts, and references and drove to NCIS Pearl Harbor. I sat in the parking lot nervous as hell and not sure what I was going to expect. My mindset the night before was completely different. I was going to drive up there, talk to who ever was in charge about volunteering (ways around if I couldn’t do an internship), and I wasn’t going to take NO for an answer. Sitting in my Jeep though was a different story. Thoughts of being rejected and laughed at continued to cross my mind. Then I told myself, “The worst they could do is tell me NO," (even though I wasn’t going to take it as an answer). So I grabbed my folder and walked in.
Now, NCIS like any secure place has very thick doors. On the door a sign read, “Knock loudly or call main number”. I knocked. Waited. Debated on calling the number, then decided to knock like I did when I was about to search someone’s room with my K9. That one got an answer. Two girls peeked through kind of stunned when they saw me standing there. I smiled and told them I wanted to speak to someone about volunteering. You could tell not too many people if any show up in person like I did judging by the way they looked at each other and said, “Ummm… one minute.” So I sat outside the door and waited. Dripping in sweat from the nice locked up no air-conditioned hallway. A little while later one comes back out holding a piece of paper saying requests goes through headquarters and here was the paper to get to it. I kindly looked at her and informed her that I had already spoke to headquarters and I was unable to intern and so I was there to volunteer instead. (Now I really knew not too many people showed up at their door). She searched for words and said she doesn’t believe I can volunteer and that I would need to do a background check and etc. I let her know that I understood and that I was more than happy to provide any requested documentation. After a minute of realizing I wasn’t going anywhere she told me I could give her my name and number and her supervisor would give me a call. I told her I could do one better and provided her with my portfolio.
When I got back home I wrote an email to headquarters and explained I understood they didn’t have an internship available HOWERVER I wanted to volunteer. Not to tweet my own horn but I wrote a pretty badass email I would say so myself. I again sent all of my documentation. Now if I don’t hear anything by this Friday, once again I will dress in my best interview attire, have my portfolio ready, and drive back up to NCIS Pearl Harbor and follow up on my request.
I wasn’t able to speak to a supervisor about volunteering, but I didn’t leave there feeling rejected or being laughed at. I took a chance for something that I really want. That’s what life is about, you take chances, fight for what you want, and never giving up. Your determination and motivation makes up the individual you are. I’m not saying that I am all high and mighty because I went out of my comfort zone, but some people find it harder too. You can go through life saying “What if” or you take chances. I can be told NO ten times, but I won’t stop. I’ll find a way to be who I want to be in my professional career. That works in your personal life too.
For about two months now I have been going back and forth with taking a trip to Australia. I want to go, but I don’t want to go by myself, the money, the time away from my puppy, and so on and so forth. I kept talking myself into just to talk myself right back out of it. Then today I said FUCK IT. I clarified with my friend about house sitting and bought my ticket. Now I AM going to Australia. Granted yes it’s expensive, and yes I definitely could save and have more money if I didn’t, but is money more important than experiences? Isn’t experiences is what life is all about? I know later on I won’t have this kind of opportunity again. I’ll have kids and a family and only get two weeks vacation a year where it will be spent seeing family for the holidays. I want to travel and see the world and experience things I never imagined. So I did it and I am going to have the time of my life on my solo trip. Am I nervous about going alone to yet another foreign country? Hell yea, but I’ll get over it. I’ll be able to discover more about myself then I probably ever will. I won’t have to compromise on what I want to do and when. I can eat where I want and do what I want. It’s going to be a trip of a lifetime.
Reading this it sounds like I have all my shit together, in reality it’s taken me over a year to get back to where I am today. With the amazing support of my grandma, sister, therapist, and many others who’ve helped me on the way, I am finally becoming me again. For over a year I lost my motivation and determination and I always felt like a had a hole. As soon as I got out of the military I moved to Hawai‘i. When asked why I came here I tell people it was because the military is paying for it so why not right?! In reality I came here for someone. I won’t get into all of those messy details, but I will say I found the strength deep down inside, even though I didn’t know it at the time, to stay in Hawai‘i and finish my degree. I could have easily gone to California or Florida and pick up school there, but why? I had no reason to run. I was more than capable of staying here and finishing school on track. It wasn’t easy though and I wanted to leave everyday, but I have finally realized I am stronger than any road bump that comes my way. It’s empowering to know I put my goals and my education in front of lack of friends, family, and support I have physically on the island. Even though it took me a while, I realized I could do this. The hole hasn’t completely been filled yet, but it’s definitely come a long way.
Monday morning comes along and my friend and I a talking about our weekends. I don’t work Friday’s so I was able to accomplish quite a bit. I got up Friday morning and put on my best interview attire with my hair in a bun so tight I forgot what that felt like. I grabbed my folder with my cover letter, resume, DD214, transcripts, and references and drove to NCIS Pearl Harbor. I sat in the parking lot nervous as hell and not sure what I was going to expect. My mindset the night before was completely different. I was going to drive up there, talk to who ever was in charge about volunteering (ways around if I couldn’t do an internship), and I wasn’t going to take NO for an answer. Sitting in my Jeep though was a different story. Thoughts of being rejected and laughed at continued to cross my mind. Then I told myself, “The worst they could do is tell me NO," (even though I wasn’t going to take it as an answer). So I grabbed my folder and walked in.
Now, NCIS like any secure place has very thick doors. On the door a sign read, “Knock loudly or call main number”. I knocked. Waited. Debated on calling the number, then decided to knock like I did when I was about to search someone’s room with my K9. That one got an answer. Two girls peeked through kind of stunned when they saw me standing there. I smiled and told them I wanted to speak to someone about volunteering. You could tell not too many people if any show up in person like I did judging by the way they looked at each other and said, “Ummm… one minute.” So I sat outside the door and waited. Dripping in sweat from the nice locked up no air-conditioned hallway. A little while later one comes back out holding a piece of paper saying requests goes through headquarters and here was the paper to get to it. I kindly looked at her and informed her that I had already spoke to headquarters and I was unable to intern and so I was there to volunteer instead. (Now I really knew not too many people showed up at their door). She searched for words and said she doesn’t believe I can volunteer and that I would need to do a background check and etc. I let her know that I understood and that I was more than happy to provide any requested documentation. After a minute of realizing I wasn’t going anywhere she told me I could give her my name and number and her supervisor would give me a call. I told her I could do one better and provided her with my portfolio.
When I got back home I wrote an email to headquarters and explained I understood they didn’t have an internship available HOWERVER I wanted to volunteer. Not to tweet my own horn but I wrote a pretty badass email I would say so myself. I again sent all of my documentation. Now if I don’t hear anything by this Friday, once again I will dress in my best interview attire, have my portfolio ready, and drive back up to NCIS Pearl Harbor and follow up on my request.
I wasn’t able to speak to a supervisor about volunteering, but I didn’t leave there feeling rejected or being laughed at. I took a chance for something that I really want. That’s what life is about, you take chances, fight for what you want, and never giving up. Your determination and motivation makes up the individual you are. I’m not saying that I am all high and mighty because I went out of my comfort zone, but some people find it harder too. You can go through life saying “What if” or you take chances. I can be told NO ten times, but I won’t stop. I’ll find a way to be who I want to be in my professional career. That works in your personal life too.
For about two months now I have been going back and forth with taking a trip to Australia. I want to go, but I don’t want to go by myself, the money, the time away from my puppy, and so on and so forth. I kept talking myself into just to talk myself right back out of it. Then today I said FUCK IT. I clarified with my friend about house sitting and bought my ticket. Now I AM going to Australia. Granted yes it’s expensive, and yes I definitely could save and have more money if I didn’t, but is money more important than experiences? Isn’t experiences is what life is all about? I know later on I won’t have this kind of opportunity again. I’ll have kids and a family and only get two weeks vacation a year where it will be spent seeing family for the holidays. I want to travel and see the world and experience things I never imagined. So I did it and I am going to have the time of my life on my solo trip. Am I nervous about going alone to yet another foreign country? Hell yea, but I’ll get over it. I’ll be able to discover more about myself then I probably ever will. I won’t have to compromise on what I want to do and when. I can eat where I want and do what I want. It’s going to be a trip of a lifetime.
Reading this it sounds like I have all my shit together, in reality it’s taken me over a year to get back to where I am today. With the amazing support of my grandma, sister, therapist, and many others who’ve helped me on the way, I am finally becoming me again. For over a year I lost my motivation and determination and I always felt like a had a hole. As soon as I got out of the military I moved to Hawai‘i. When asked why I came here I tell people it was because the military is paying for it so why not right?! In reality I came here for someone. I won’t get into all of those messy details, but I will say I found the strength deep down inside, even though I didn’t know it at the time, to stay in Hawai‘i and finish my degree. I could have easily gone to California or Florida and pick up school there, but why? I had no reason to run. I was more than capable of staying here and finishing school on track. It wasn’t easy though and I wanted to leave everyday, but I have finally realized I am stronger than any road bump that comes my way. It’s empowering to know I put my goals and my education in front of lack of friends, family, and support I have physically on the island. Even though it took me a while, I realized I could do this. The hole hasn’t completely been filled yet, but it’s definitely come a long way.